Jun 17 2009

Episode 3: Public Relations

Reggio Perino’s first order of business was to maintain the illusion of being a successful mercenary and not down on his luck in the slightest. Entreating Juan Batista to patience and making warlike noises, Reggio dashed back to the tavern, where he espied a very dapper mercenary, almost after his own heart.

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Just one look at that majestic plumage told Reggio all he needed to know. The halberdier and seven of his friends were hired, using almost the last of Reggio’s personal hoard of denars. They were quickly presented to Juan Batista as an honour guard, and Reggio assured his soon-to-be-highness that the company was following some distance behind so that their rank yet bellicose odour would not offend his excellency’s nostrils.

The party of 13 (lucky for some, Reggio hoped) trudged north into Laurian territory and the heart of the rebellion: Fearichen.

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Reggio gave the people a rousing speech about past injustices, and promised revenge on those who oppressed the villagers and taken their scant money and possessions to finance their pointless wars. The idiot peasantry swallowed it whole, and provided the rebellion with its first volunteers: seven Laurian arquebusiers. Well, it was a start. But peasant levies wouldn’t win the war. For that, Reggio needed noble allies, preferably ones who were easily swayed by the promise of riches.

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Tehlrog Castle was the first port of call, just south-west of the capital Nibelheim. It belonged to Lord Fruela, and things were not looking good from the off. It turned out that Reggio had never even met Lord Fruela, and the crotchety old goat refused to countenance any sort of rebellion against his natural liege.

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With his stubble set in a manly frown, Fruela sent Reggio packing. He paid him back by visiting Fruela’s holdings nearby and recruiting volunteers to Juan Batista’s cause, and – undeterred – continued westward. At Hrus Castle, he met Lord Cordoba, who he was passing familiar with and had saved in battle once or twice.

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The ginger conquistador idiot was entirely ungrateful, however, and denounced Reggio as an inconstant traitor. Reggio had to agree – he was a mercenary, after all – and appealed unsuccessfully to Cordoba’s baser nature. Promises of wealth to come did not sway Cordoba, who loudly proclaimed that he preferred the bastard he knew to the bastard he didn’t. Reggio personally thought this was a bit off, considering Juan Batista was standing in front of him at the time. It was looking like Reggio’s best bet may even be to ask for help from Queen Imelda herself, as she still seemed to hold a soft spot for him despite his betrayal. The abandoning bitch.

The putative rebellion continued westwards, into the borderlands of the Laurian kingdom. At Curin Castle, things finally started to go right.

Reggio requested a meeting with the two lords currently at the castle, Theobald and Francis.

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Although Theobald’s strange helmet disconcerted Reggio at first…

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Both were good sorts, men after his own heart. They both professed to having heard the arguments he’d used previously and been convinced by them, as they were very much in favour of profiting from this civil war. Declaring that they would both be able to commission life-size golden statues of themselves once they’d melted down Imelda’s throne for scrap, Reggio easily convinced both men to join the cause. Containing his jubilance that chaos and vengeance were finally taking shape, he ordered Theobald and his curious headgear to join him while Francis and his men would garrison Curin Castle. With his new troops in tow, Reggio set out to the north, towards the city of Tihr, where he was unpleasantly surprised.

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Lord Pelayo, seneschal of the city of Tihr, with 150 men at his back. Having flashbacks to the battle prior to his capture, Reggio rode forward to greet Pelayo.

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His lordship was animated and apparently eager to grind Reggio’s band into the dirt, but Reggio knew Pelayo of old, and knew of his avarice. His lordship proved astonishingly susceptible to promises of bribery, and agreed to join the rebellion, bringing Tihr and its sizeable garrison into the fold as well.

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Reggio Perino surveyed the lands that now formed the core of the rebellion and smiled. From little acorns great serpents could grow.

Or something.


Jun 17 2009

Episode 2: Rock Bottom

Reggio Perino cursed his rotten luck. Half his company were being picked apart by the crows, and the other half were no doubt halfway to the prisoner camps outside Ellis by now. As for him and his lieutenants, it seemed that Balbars the Hammer had some other plan for them. As far as Reggio could tell, in between concussions and burlap sacks on his head, they were circling around Grunwalder Castle, not far from where the battle had been fought. The Lion Throne’s disciples proved less steadfast and watchful than he expected, however…

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Jeremus, once a priest before he took a fancy for mercenary work, provided a distraction while Reggio and his three other lieutenants escaped. When the hue and cry was raised, Jeremus himself slipped out…

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Reggio had been right in his assessment. They were south of Grunwalder Castle, close to neutral Swadian territory. The Empire was occupied with its war against the Vaegirs and Ormeli to its east and south, and had provided succour and shelter for the Banditti in the past. Right now, though, all Reggio wanted was a drink. He set out for Vienna, capital of the Holy Swadian Empire, and reached the city at midnight.

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It may have been midnight on a Tuesday, but even the über-devout Swadians know how to have a good time. Reggio made straight for a little tavern he was fond of for its low ceilings, prices, and morals. But a man can’t even have a quiet drinking-into-oblivion these days.

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A group of bandits ambushed Reggio just outside the tavern, and he was forced to cut them down with his trusty sabre (thankfully he had liberated most of his equipment when he escaped). Blood-letting on an empty stomach and alcohol-free veins didn’t do anything for his bad mood, and when he saw the wall-faced barmaid who had replaced that lusty little piece who was here last time, he sank even further into despair.

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Dismayed, Reggio ordered a firkin of ale, a leg of beef, and a cabbage, and sat down to his repast and sorrow-drowning. He had little money, few prospects, and a great desire for revenge. But then his luck changed.

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He got talking to a ragged yet knowledgeable stranger, who was full of amusing anecdotes of his visits to taverns and brothels all over Calradia. It was a passing remark that cheered Reggio the most, however: the traveller mentioned that Juan Batista Loeher, pretender to the Laurian throne, was staying at the castle in Vienna.

Stinking of booze and looking slightly down-at-heel, Reggio made a fine display at the castle gates, telling the guards that he was Reggio Perino, famed soldier of fortune, and he was here for dinner. They admitted him, not a little warily, and there he was.

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Juan Batista Loeher, in the flesh. And clearly a bit of a goth. God’s sake, man, hadn’t he heard of torches? Clearly ready to expound on his misfortunes at a moment’s notice with the most complete stranger, Juan launched into a diatribe the moment Reggio had introduced himself.

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He explained that Queen Imelda, his sister, did not deserve the Laurian throne at all, and that he was the one who should be on it, by right of masculinity.

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Reggio nodded fiercely and agreed like a fine toady. The idea of that abandoning bitch Imelda ending up with a slit throat was most agreeable. Putting on his finest brown-nosing act, he made his speech.

“I, Reggio Perino, famed soldier of fortune, victor of a hundred battles, will help you gain your rightful throne, Juan Batista Loeher! Got any more of this wine? It’s rather good.”

Juan was overjoyed, Reggio could tell: his face was twitching in what may have been an inward smile. Sombrely and earnestly, the pretender offered his signet ring to be kissed.

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Courage and devotion, that’s right. Just what he’d told Queen Imelda.

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Reggio agreed readily.

“Now! Where is this fine company of yours?” said Juan. “I wish to meet the men that will give me my throne.”

Ah.